As I approach the second and final year of grad school there’s been a lot of talk about the “what comes next” part. You know, the what are you going to specialize in? When are you going to get licensed? Where are you going to live? Are you going to move home? Where are you going to get a job?
And the truth is, I really don’t know. Yeah, I have some ideas. Sure, I’ve thought about it. A lot. But the truth of it is I don’t have definite plans about what I’m going to be when I finally “grow up”.
But then I was thinking…I do know. I’m not sure about the specifics of my career, or the location of my home, or all of the things that society tells us are the most important-but I do know the real important things.
I know that my house is going to be filed with photos of my family and friends, and little things that make me happy. There’s going to be my favorite bible verses on the walls and interesting books on the shelves. I’m going to have a cell phone that’s full of random pictures of the delicious meals I’ve eaten and the best places I’ve traveled, and a call log full of conversations with the people that I cherish. I’m going to have a cupboard full of too many coffee mugs and a refrigerator that always has Sriracha. My couch is going to have cat fur on it no matter how many times I vacuum and there’s always going to be a cozy blanket nearby. I’m going to be working somewhere that is meaningful and makes me feel like I have a purpose. I might not be bringing home the biggest paycheck, and there’s going to be days where I can’t leave work at work and will spend the night in tears while my heart hurts, but that’s okay, because it means I’m making a difference, even if it’s just for one kid. I don’t know what car I’ll be driving but I do know that the volume will always be turned up too loud, the windows rolled down, and the gas light on. I might cut my hair or I might not, I might gain weight or I might run another marathon, but I will love my body because of what it does for me, even if it’s not as skinny as I might wish it was. I’ll still have a ring on my finger and every time I look at it I’ll be reminded of how lucky I am to have a husband so perfectly created for me.
So no, I’m not exactly sure of the specifics of the world’s version of the responsible “what comes next” but I think I have the important things figured out. No matter the size of my house or the pay of my job I know that as long as I’m keeping first things first my life will never be something to be ashamed of.
“The key is not to prioritize your schedule but schedule your priorities.”